Thursday, July 26, 2012

You is kind. You is smart. You is important.

Those words, said by Abilene Clark to Mae Mobly in Kathryn Stockett's The Help, hit me today while I was walking Cookie this morning. It was probably in my head since I've finally gotten around to watching the movie, and have since watched it about half a dozen times, but they really resonated this morning. I think as women we tend to beat ourselves up too much. I know I do. I'm extremely critical of myself and that critical voice in my head tends to scream at me. I've been doing a lot of thinking lately about where I want to go with my life. I'm 39 years old and I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up. I feel like I don't have a direction. I don't feel I'm successful at anything, except maybe sitting on the couch, surfing the 'net and eating way too much food that isn't good for me. My kids start school soon. And this will be the first time that they are both gone for the whole day. I'm terrified about what I'm going to do with my time. I have some commitments, like PTA and being the bookkeeper at Riley & Jake's but I'm scared it's not enough. I want to be amazing at something. I want people to say that I am the go-to person for something but I'm not sure what. Hopefully I can figure that out and maybe I can actually begin to believe that I am kind, smart and important.

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